


c minor

by autisticaizawashouta



Series: The Keys to Life [1]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Fake Friends, Gen, I'm not really sure how to tag this, Mild Angst, Self-Esteem Issues, roman is Sad, virgil is Sassy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 19:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13794165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autisticaizawashouta/pseuds/autisticaizawashouta
Summary: the key of c minor."Declarations of love and lamenting lost love or unhappy relationships.  It is languishing and full of longing, a soul in search of something different."Roman longs for something different.





	c minor

Roman had it all. He was popular. He was well-liked. He was handsome. He had a passion and he pursued it and he excelled at it.

Onstage, he dazzled and shone like a diamond-studded disco ball. His presence captivated those around him. Words, brave and bold and liquid gold, spilled off his tongue as his charisma onstage entranced the audience.

He had a supportive family. Parents who accepted him as he was, and two sisters who teased him and held him when he cried over a boy.

He had everything, so why did he feel this way?

He was surrounded with friends, and yet… he felt friendless. They didn’t listen when he needed them to. Were they only friends with him because he was handsome, popular, highly skilled, going places? Did they care about his well-being beyond what he could do for them?

His sisters listened, except they were in college- one of them several states away, the other one closer yet busier. They had classes to go to, homework to do, essays to write and dates to make. They were crafting their futures and he didn’t want his petty crises getting in the way of that.

He didn’t tell them as much about his troubles as his used to.

He tried telling his parents, but all he got was a “stop overthinking it! Your friends are your friends and they care about you” which wasn’t very helpful at all, because were they really his friends?

He felt friendless and alone, and as much as he ensnared everyone’s focus onstage, he felt unheard.

He wished it could be different, that he could have friends, true friends, close friends, the kind of friends who would hold him when he cried and protect him and be the kind of friends who would go out for ice cream with you at two in the morning because you were bored or you just broke up with your boyfriend.

He needed that kind of relationship. Not even in a romantic manner, and yet… every time he tried getting close like that with one of his friends, they seemed to think he wanted to date them. And even if he was looking for romance… he wasn’t looking for it with them, with the shallow ones who never let him close.

He sighed, chin in his hand as he stared out the window at the building snowstorm. The halls were mostly empty. School had been over for an hour and a half already, and every sport team except for the fricken track team had canceled practice because of the snow.

Theatre wasn’t a sport. Theatre rehearsal had not been canceled. Roman just… wasn’t… at the rehearsal. He had been acting all day and didn’t feel like acting for another three hours just to go home and act some more…

“Not that I’m going to pretend to care or anything, but, aren’t you supposed to be at play practice?”

Roman startled, and jerked around to glare at the person who had interrupted his… self-reflection.

Standing, slouched, with his hands in his pockets, was Virgil Douglas-Sullivan, regarded by many as the local emo screw-up which was a… fairly accurate summation, especially if you asked Virgil himself. Which Roman had. Not that he cared, or anything.

“Maybe I just didn’t feel like going. And it’s  _ rehearsal _ , not practice,” Roman retorted, jutting his chin out.

“You? Not feel like going to play practice?” Virgil scoffed. “As if I’m gonna believe that Roman Fortier, the ‘greatest Romeo Wilsonville High has ever had’, would ever willingly miss  _ play practice _ .” The drama teacher’s overly-flattering title for Roman was said as sarcastically as possible, complete with air quotes, an eyeroll, and a sneer.

“Well, we all have off days,” Roman said, affronted.

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Okay. Sounds fake, but okay.”

“Sounds fake?” Roman asked. “How does it sound fake? It’s true!”

“Really?” Virgil made a quick hand gesture to go along with his disbelieving facial expression. “You literally told the entire theatre department six months ago that you never have off days.”

Roman paused and blinked. “I definitely did not say that.”

“Uh, you definitely did,” Virgil replied.

“If I did- and I’m not saying that I did- how would you remember what I said so clearly?” Roman asked, leaning in closer, squinting at Virgil. The taller boy huffed.

“Don’t think you’re special or anything,” he replied.

Roman didn’t think he was special. He knew he was brilliant, and highly skilled, and one-of-a-kind. But everyone was one-of-a-kind. The problem was that other people seemed to think he was special… too special.

“I don’t,” Roman replied.

Virgil raised his eyebrows.

“I really don’t!” Roman protested.

“Sure,” Virgil drawled. Roman stared at him. He was being so stubborn, refusing to listen, like everyone else. Just another person who wouldn’t believe Roman was anything less than perfect.

Something in Virgil’s eyes softened after several moments and he made a soft “huh” noise. “You really don’t.”

Roman drew back, startled. “What- you believe me?”

Virgil shifted, looking away. He threaded his fingers together in front of his chest as he started talking. “You’re very good at acting, but, if you know what you’re looking for… it’s very obvious that you’ve been a little off, lately.”

“And I take it you know what to look for,” Roman said, rolling his eyes.

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t,” Virgil replied, shrugging nonchalantly. “So you don’t think you’re as special as everyone else thinks you are. Big whoop. Self-esteem issues happen.”

Except- this wasn’t a self-esteem issue, was it?

Rather than explore that train of thought, Roman raised an eyebrow. “Everyone else? So if you don’t think I’m special, what do you think I am?”

“Just another asshole actor who keeps losing the props,” Virgil replied, completely serious. Roman spluttered and stood up.

“I do not! Lose my props!” he said, trying to look big and serious. It didn’t help that Virgil was probably a solid five inches taller than him.

“Last play, you left your sword in the bathroom,” Virgil replied. That stopped Roman cold.

“I… suppose I did,” he said.

Virgil pulled his phone out of his pocket, and grimaced when he saw what was on the screen.

“I’ve gotta go. Enjoy your moping, not that I care,” he said, turning and stalking off.

“I’m not moping!” Roman shouted. He watched Virgil leave. That was… the only time he had ever had a one-on-one conversation with the other boy. It didn’t go as awfully as Roman always thought it would. Virgil had… listened to him, and believed him, even though he was being… genuine. Which, if his genuine wasn’t positive and bold and dashing, then no one liked to listen. Except… Virgil had. Virgil… didn’t see him as special, not the way everyone else did.

He wanted more people to treat him like that, to listen when he talked about his issues and to not hesitate to call him out. Except… maybe he was just being greedy. He already had it all, he had everything so much better than he could’ve ever hoped for it to be.

He had it all, and he wanted more. What sort of person did that make him?

He wanted to feel like he had real friends, like he could tell his problems to someone and they’d take him seriously.

Maybe he couldn’t have that unless he gave something else up first.

**Author's Note:**

> for mood, try the first movement of rachmaninoff's piano concerto number two in, you guessed it, c minor.  
> uh did i succeed at the angst. i wasn't trying to make it super angsty but uuuuh  
> i hope you enjoyed it! if you did, leave a kudos! and if you can, leave me a comment letting me know what you thought! i love interacting with everyone who reads my fic <3  
> with love,  
> Kestrel


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